Although many things have changed in our society, so far only the bride wears the engagement ring. Traditionally, it is a gift from the groom-to-be to his betrothed, but the days when a man surprises his beloved by presenting her with a small black velvet box containing sparkling diamond ring are no longer. Most women, in fact, prefer to be consulted about their engagement ring and some even want to participate actively in its selection. After all, this is a piece of jewelry that you expect to wear every day for the rest of your life. Sometimes the price of the ring is also a joint decision, particularly if a couple is saving for a house or some other major purchase.
However, involved you are in the decision about the engagement ring; your funds will rarely be used to buy it. (And in the event the wedding is called off, you are obligated to return the engagement ring and any other pieces of expensive or heirloom jewelry you have been given.
If the price is a concern, your fiancé can pay the jeweler a visit before he brings you in to try on rings. He can preselect some rings in his price range, which will be shown to you when you come in together.
One woman I know recently developed a new twist on this method of selecting an engagement ring; she loved and knew a lot about antique jewelry and very much wanted an antique engagement ring. Her fiancé knew nothing about antique jewelry – and had little patience for shopping. They settled on a price range and agreed that she would go make the pre-selection, after which she would bring him in so they could make the final choice together.
Although the diamond has been the engagement stone of preference for decades now, many stone is appropriate. Diamonds, particularly investment quality ones, are very expensive, and there are many other beautiful precious and semiprecious stones from which to choose. Some stones, such as rubies and emeralds, are more expensive than diamonds, but many others – sapphires, opals, pearls, garnets – are less expensive and make lovely engagement rings.
In choosing any kind of stone, it is a good idea to learn a little bit about fine jewelry before your shop, particularly if you will be shopping for a diamond or other precious stone.
Jewelers advise that you know something about the four Cs – clarity, color, cut, and carat- before you shop for precious stones. Clarity refers to the shape of the diamond and the skill with which its facets have been curved. The most popular shapes for precious stones are round, oval, marquise, pear, and emerald. Carat refers to the weight of the stone. A stone may be referred to as one-half carat, one carat, one-and-a-half carats, and so on. These four elements combined define the quality of a stone. Always buy the very best stone you can afford, and buy it from a reputable dealer.
Occasionally, you may be offered an heirloom ring from either one of your families. A genuine antique ring is beautiful, but jewelry that is only one or two generations old has a way of looking merely dated. Either way, if the ring you are offered is not to your taste, you may turn it down tactfully, perhaps by saying you have always wanted a ring that was chosen just for you. Alternately, you might ask whether you can have the stones reset.
When choosing your engagement ring, keep in mind that it will be worn with a wedding band. In fact, many couples buy both rings at the same time, and sometimes, they are part of a matched set, Even if you buy your wedding band later, it’s a good idea to try on some wedding rings when you are choosing an engagement ring, too see what looks good together.
The wedding rings are your gifts to each other. Most men wear a ring but some prefer not to – this is, of course, his decision. Matching wedding bands are sentimental touch, if you can find rings that flatter both your hands. Men’s hands are usually larger than women’s, and can handle bigger ring. Keep in mind before choosing a wide band that it can be uncomfortable and sometimes causes skin irritations.
Although the custom is less popular today, it’s a lovely idea to have your rings engraved; your jeweler can do this, or can suggest someone. The simplest and most frequently used engraving is your initials and the date of your wedding, but you may want to include a short expression of your love: (Simper Fidelio (Latin for Always Faithful), Faithfully, Always, Love, or anything else that appeals to you and fits on small band.
